The Phantom Sock Snatcher

 

The Wumple Chumple planted another row of socks, making sure the colours and patterns didn’t clash. Delving into an enormous sack which overflowed with socks of every shape, size, colour, pattern and texture, he put them into pairs so they all matched. Slowly scratching his head, he couldn’t quite believe there were so many shades of purple.

 

Gazing at the huge sock trees, the Wumple Chumple smiled. He loved his sock trees, his sock plants, and his sock hedges. Looking around, he saw pink-spotted birds flying above the blue trees. Green lambs and blue horses played in the fields and the pale blue grass wafted in the soft summer breeze.

 

The Idiot Family at Home

 

Can you imagine being called an Idiot – or worse still, having it as a surname, the bit after your real name? Can you imagine having to use the word Idiot all the time as part of your everyday life? Luckily, most of the population have surnames such as Smith, Jones, Harper, Stones, Clarke, Carter and Fields, so it’s nice and easy and, far more importantly, not something to be teased about by people. As we know, having a stupid name means being punished mercilessly – unless you are the child of a rock star, movie star, celebrity or a footballer. Though, tragically, most footballers’ children’s first names are the problem! Not least because they are quite often named after a fruit, vegetable, colour, drink, shoe, tube station, airport, hotel, chewing gum or aftershave. So for this particular group of children, we really need to have universal sympathy for their uneducated and unprofessional parents who will pay truckloads of money for their beautiful, sweet, articulate offspring to become brain surgeons and judges.

 

Petronella Pumpernickel-Pinkstocking Berck and Big Wart

 

By the time she was in Year Eight Petronella Pumpernickel-Pinkstocking Berck had sort of kissed every weak, wimpy boy in lower school.

 

Actually, that’s not quite true, as in most cases, being a bit of a bruiser of a girl, she’d twist their arms with a back-stabbing Chinese burn and threatened to take their lunch money. Since she had the muscles of an all in wrestler, nobody was going to put up a fight.

 

To make matters worse, her mother bellowed to her every morning that, if she continued to kiss boys-especially those didn’t wash, or had bad breath- something horrible would happen to her mouth.

 

Archie Dingletrotter’s Flying Caravan

 

Archie Dingletrotter was nearly seven years old and had lived in more places than you or I could ever imagine. His life was like one long holiday because he was from a gypsy family, and moved

 

from village to village every couple of months which meant that Archie knew lots of people and lots of places.

 

...Everyone always liked him as he always told entertaining stories of his family’s adventures and always tried hard at school....

 

One sunny day Archie and his family arrived at a beautiful village in the countryside which was surrounded by rolling hills, trees, bright flowers and animals playing contentedly in the fields.

 

‘Cor Dad! This place looks great! Can we stay here a bit and I could go to school in the village?’....

 

 

Desmond’s Dragon

 

Desmond Biggles was five and three-quarters and he loved lots of things especially dragons.

 

He loved dragons. Desmond went to lots of museums and always asked questions about dragons.

 

Did they brush their teeth? Did they make friends? Did they smell? Did they wear nappies, or were they trained like pets? Did they like television? Where did they sleep?

 

His parents laughed. ‘Dragons aren’t real Desmond,’ they’d say. ‘They’re the stuff of fairy tales.’

Buy Anne's latest book 'The Phantom Sock Snatcher'